Baked Cables (serves 1)
1 pattern for basic structure
Denise interchangeables, sizes 7 (for body), 6 (for ribbing), and 9 (for binding off)
6 skeins wool in Iris
1 book of Aran Stitches
6 silver buttons with celtic knots
- Swatch for cables. Swatch for cables again. Keep on swatching. When you hit half a dozen swatches, stop.
- Find yarn and buttons. Order them. Get more and more antsy as you wait for yarn to arrive
- Begin knitting. Get cocky about cables. Don’t bother checking if you’re doing them right until you have to rip out at least 30 rows. Do a lot of swearing under your breath. Rip it out and try again.
- Get distracted by other things: Computer games, Sockpal000za socks that need to be done, socks for husband, lace shawl
- Get smacked upside the head by a big dose of reality check because you only have four weeks left and you are not even halfway done. Begin knitting on sweater non-stop.
- Despite misgivings that stitch gauge has changed enough to be a problem when switching from Denises to DPN’s on the sleeves, finish and bind off both sleeves. Do not bother to count cable repeats to make sure both sleeves are same length.
- Decide to redo sleeves later, in the hopes that maybe they will magically fix themselves. Ha ha ha.
- Finish body. Add collar, button band, and buttonhole band. Redo at least two of those.
- Rip out both sleeves, despite obvious lack of time. Tell yourself that sleep is highly overrated anyway. Remind yourself that you can sleep on the plane.
- Fly off to Portland for a day on a business trip. Get delayed in airport coming home. Stay up until 1:30 am to finish sweater after flying home (even though you’ve been up since 4am that morning).
- Drink more coffee than should be humanly allowed. Weave in all ends.
- Wash sweater to remove copious amounts of cat hair. Do not remember until AFTER sweater is dripping wet that you have no clue where you can lay it out to block it that is free from cats (indoors), gardeners, birds, or more cats (outdoors).
- Wander aimlessly around the house with extremely damp sweater in arms, mumbling to oneself.
- Drink a lot more coffee.
- Just before you begin to fully panic, remember that your office parking lot is very sunny and that cars parked in sunny places become little ovens.
- Spread sweater out in back of car. Drive to work. Park in prime sweater-baking location.
- Leave sweater in hot car all day. Turn every few hours until fully baked.
- Revel in completion of sweater.
- Serve warm.
Ireland, here I come!