A cat by any other name

Overwhelmed and swept away

05-05-2000


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Meow at me

Work has been hectic...but then again, what else is new. Too much to do, and not enough time to do it. A coworker looked at me Thursday before he left and said 'you need to delegate or you're going to burn out'. I didn't answer, just rolled my eyes, but I wanted to reply. Delegate to whom? All the others on my team are just as busy. I already handed over - quite reluctantly because I was so looking forward to coding it - the internal tracking tool we're using, to the testing team. They're doing all the work on that. I draft the other analysts into doing pieces of the project plan because I know I can't get it all done by myself. I pushed for an additional resource because I realized that we needed it. But there's only so much I can give away, and it's not like any of the rest of them have time to do it either. This has been one of those weeks where I question myself constantly. What ever made me think I do manager-type stuff?

It's the little things that make it better though. The business team lead that fully understands why I wanted to step back and take a second look at what they were designing, even though the others snarl at me. The head of the development team who remembers to tell us that we're doing a great job, even though he's even more overwhelmed than we are. The little comments from other members of the team that make me realize that despite the overall chaos of this project, I'm doing all right.

I've also been in land-limbo all week. The seller was supposed to get back to me regarding my offer by Monday. No word. Tuesday night the realtor paged me to let me know he'd *finally* gotten back to her with a counter offer. My immediate response - yes. Oh yes. I just want that land! More limbo. I went in the next morning before work to sign the paperwork. He was supposed to sign that night. No signing. Arrgh!

But the realtor just paged me. Congratulations. I'm a land owner!! Wow! Finally!

I'm so excited! I've never owned property before. This is new and different. Granted right now, all I have is my very own plot of weeds (albeit fine, high quality weeds, to be sure), but sometime soon it will have a house on it and trees and a deck and...well...it will be perfect. I suddenly feel like an adult. But this is one time when feeling old is just fine.

It's been a crazy week as a result. Overworked, stressed over the land question - will he sign or won't he? Yet through it all there has been this incredible euphoria. There are some things that make caffeine addiction worthwhile; when the unexpected but hoped for becomes real and tangible; when conversations linger, and laughter become seductive. I am overwhelmed. Ah, bliss.