I know I'm leaving this until a little late this year, what with it being the day before the big event and all, but I figure you can still manage. After all, Christmas magic, and all that.
This year I want the following items. Most of these don't have to be wrapped, so I'm making it even easier for you. See how thoughtful I am?
- Please bring me a dragon. A small one, preferably house-trained. Must get along well with cats. Larger dragons would be fine but I'm not sure if our yard is quite big enough, so smaller is better. I know I asked for this last year, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask again. One cute little scaly dragon?
- I would like one of the regular networks to realize just how idiotic Fox really was to drop Firefly, and to immediately call Joss Whedon and ask - no, *beg* - him to resume the show, giving everyone big raises and signing them all on for a contract for at least a few years. Also, it needs to do so incredibly well that the network can then thumb its nose at Fox and do a networky version of the 'Neener, neener' dance. Also, Fox would be so ashamed it would stop making those brainless 'reality' shows. Okay, so maybe the last one is a little too big even for you. But really. Firefly. Bring it back. For that I might even have to break down and get cable.
- I would like a little visit from some of the cast of Lord of the Rings. The guy who plays Aragorn is to come and serenade me, and can you arrange to have that echoy thing going on while he's singing? Also, Orlando Bloom - but only in his Legolas costume - can come and perch on my porch and give me soulful looks. I'd ask for more, but I am, after all, a married woman. So I will settle for the serenading and the soulful looks. Although if you were willing to bring along a baby Ent or two, that would be extra cool.
- I'd like a new pair of sinuses please - a pair that doesn't get all clogged up every time the weather changes or I catch a case of sniffles. Also, if you could arrange to do that before I fly home from Seattle so I do not have to endure the stabbing needles of death behind my eyes during take-off and landing due to changes in air pressure, I would be ever so grateful.
- And lastly, or perhaps more importantly, there are some people in my life that want and need things, Santa - want and need them more than anything. One of them wants a baby, and she's an awesome mom, Santa. Surely you could drop a little bit of your magic her way this year to help her get her wish, and get it soon. Some other friends need jobs - truly awesome jobs that challenge and excite them and give them something to look forward to every day. I know this economy's been pretty bad lately, but see what you can do.
Thanks very much, especially if you can swing that last one. Give my regards to all the reindeer.