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August 15, 2005: Again

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These past few weeks I feel as if I have been walking around in a constant state of exhaustion. I cannot ever seem to get enough sleep, yet I can't sleep in on days when the time is there to try. It's hot outside and it's been hot for weeks and it's only now that the temperature shows signs of dipping a few degrees. I don't know if that's the reason I am so tired, or it's just adding to some other underlying cause. Ugh.

I have also been mulling things around in my head for this journal. I think it's safe to say that it has been many, many months since I've updated regularly without serious back-posting, that is. I still have the need to write, but sometimes I dream wistfully of having someplace where I can just dump short snippets of thought, instead of feeling as if I need to flesh everything out into something longer and possibly more meaningful. The very word 'blog' makes me shudder and grit my teeth and so I cannot see revamping everything over to that sort of format. Maybe I just need to find a way to make this work a little differently. I don't know. I'm not going to stop writing. I just need to figure out how to get brain to release everything in a more timely manner.

Or maybe it's just that I'm tired and cranky, and sick of it being so damn hot out. And maybe it's because I have a stupid Neil Diamond song in my head and it will Not Go Away and it is driving me ever so slightly nuts because while Neil Diamond music is amusing for elevators or background music, it is not the sort of thing one wants to find oneself humming at all hours of day and night, humming, or singing, 'when I would call your name, Shiloh you always came', oh for crying out loud make it stop.

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