When one is overweight, one does not usually particularly enjoy clothes shopping, because no matter how much you might try to delude yourself about your own weight, those dressing room mirrors - especially the three-way ones - never lie.
But the company's holiday party is this Friday and my wardrobe - perfect for the rest of the year when I can get away with living in jeans or slacks or the occasional skirt and top requirement - is sadly lacking in evening wear of the formal variety. And since I actually *want* to go to this party because - unlike with the Big Fish - I actually like my company, this meant I had to go shopping. Dress shopping. Shudder. To say I was not looking forward to it is a rather large understatement.
By the time I came back from the store I was floating. I found a dress. Actually, I found several dresses, in a size smaller than what I initially thought I'd have to wear, and had the giddy joy of having to choose only one, instead of having to settle for simply something in my size. For the first time in a very long time I stood in the dressing room in the department store and I actually liked what I saw in that mirror.
I can spout all the good reasons for why I'm losing this weight. I can earnestly insist that it's entirely health-related - that my appearance is really only a minor part of the whole thing.
But standing there in the dressing room, wearing a dress that made me smile at what I saw in the mirror instead of want to weep, I had to admit that sometimes, appearance is everything. And it's so, incredibly, worth it.