This morning I got up when Richard did, and we went to Starbucks for coffee and scones, and then he dropped me back at home before he continued on to work. I thought about going back to bed for a few more hours, now that I had the luxury of time, but I was too wide awake. So instead I did laundry and hung it on the line. I had a long lunch with my mom and we talked about all sorts of things, including my job. I filled out and sent in the paperwork for August's version of bike-riding fun. And I applied for unemployment online - a novel experience for me since I've never had to do this before.
I fully intended to not even touch my resume or any job-related sites until Monday, but my brother-in-law said "send me your resume," and once I'd cleaned it up and added all the new pieces and fired off that email, I figured I might as well do a little bit more while I had the motivation. It wasn't much - mostly just activating my files on job sites and sending the resume to a few people who might know people who might be hiring. But it felt good to at least have gotten started.
Right now my mind is focusing on the others - all the ones to whom I never got the chance to say goodbye. I left my business card with my home email address on the chair of one woman, paper-clipped to a note that said "please keep in touch," but it wasn't until I got home that it occurred to me I should have left notes for so many others. A few scattered messages have filtered through email. Are you okay? Do you know how to get hold of this person? If you hear from that person, can you let me know? It all happened so suddenly that there was no time to prepare. We were split apart like pebbles in the wave of an avalanche. We are reaching out to each other, trying to gather once more, if only for moral support, and to try to hang onto friendships newly created and so hastily torn.
I'm in the midst of making lists and packing for a weekend at the ranch. We'd planned this long before Thursday's unwelcome news, but the timing seems somehow perfect. Two days away from the computer, with a huge stack of books, a cozy little cabin, and all the ingredients for s'mores. Two days to relax and pretend that there is nothing back at home that I should worry about. There will be plenty of time on Monday for reality to catch up with us.
To those of you, so many of you, who have written to me offering encouragement and sympathy, I cannot tell you how very much those words have meant to me. I know I'm not the only one who is going through this, but it is still a little hard to wrap myself around it fully, and your support has been greatly appreciated. Thank you.