| Site Owner: | jenfullmoon |
| Site Name: | Chaos Attraction |
| Site URL: | http://fullmoon.diaryland.com |
| Articles Posted: | 285 |
| Bio: | This season, I'm all about theater, karaoke, and an "it's complicated" crush. Literally, the drama. |
NYE/NYD Posted on Jan 1, 2024, 3:01 pm
A good time was had by all, and that really helped to get me through starting the next worst year of my life.
Good Luck Rituals Posted on Dec 31, 2023, 9:12 pm
I got the bright idea to say, "Hey, St. Anthony, can you find her remote?" AND THEN SHE LITERALLY OPENED A DRAWER AND FOUND ONE..."Hey, St. Anthony, apparently there's more than one remote...." AND THEN LIKE THIRTY SECONDS LATER I FOUND THE REST OF THE REMOTES
2.5 Drinks Posted on Dec 31, 2023, 1:12 pm
I will note that at one point a hot guy appeared to be checking me out...no, he was just wondering what my drink was. Such is my life.
Borderline B12 Posted on Dec 30, 2023, 1:12 am
all I can think is, "please let this be a joke or else just light this script on fire, this is possibly the worst script I've ever read"
Lots of Conversations Posted on Dec 29, 2023, 1:12 am
"One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closest friends. If they seem okay, then you're the one."
I Wish I'd Talked To You Earlier Posted on Dec 28, 2023, 12:12 am
Seriously, he would have nailed what to do ahead of time and now it's too late.
Three Hour Traffic Posted on Dec 27, 2023, 12:12 am
The torture of ADHD brain, unable to do anything but drive very slowly and listen to a series of only semi-interesting podcasts.
Mazed and Confused Posted on Dec 26, 2023, 1:12 am
I love that it's an ultimate fidget, but it could really use some tweaks at minimum.
A Quiet Eve Day Posted on Dec 25, 2023, 12:12 am
Otherwise we've mostly hung around the house talking, had some good talks with Roger and/or Mom when she was in the room about all my issues of late.
Avoiding Posted on Dec 24, 2023, 1:12 am
The employee running things was one I hadn't met before, so I just grabbed some bags of stuffing, used my coupon and GOT OUT OF THERE.
Case Workers Get Stuff Done Posted on Dec 22, 2023, 11:12 pm
"hoo boy, this is like six weeks, you need sooner than that, let me go complain to someone/work on this"
Not Getting Enough Stuff Done Posted on Dec 22, 2023, 1:12 am
She also said that the rest of the manifestation group got everything they wanted. Homes, etc. Except for me, of course.
I'm Too Complex Posted on Dec 21, 2023, 10:12 am
I am "such a complex case" and "we're not leaning in any one direction" and "data points are in different directions" and "we need the entire team to meet and discuss it and that won't happen until January."
Loth-Cats Posted on Dec 20, 2023, 8:12 pm
I think they both came out as well as could be expected and are also weird, but what can you do, you can only replicate so much.
Cancellations Posted on Dec 19, 2023, 12:12 am
There's something kind of weird about me being so brain-dead of late and yet here I am trying to hack out other friends' medical issues.
Grievances Will Be Aired Posted on Dec 18, 2023, 1:12 am
But really, I should just...get it over with already.
Presumably The Last Time Posted on Dec 17, 2023, 6:12 pm
If I do this, I'm doing it expecting nothing other than getting my own ya-yas out.
A Good News Day! Posted on Dec 16, 2023, 2:12 am
This is the first time I've actually felt like there's hope in this situation!
Intake Posted on Dec 14, 2023, 11:12 pm
She seemed surprised that I say bad things about myself and that I say them pretty deadpan and don't look upset about it. I said thinking bad things about myself is like breathing air,
Winters Party Posted on Dec 14, 2023, 12:12 am
Jim's gift was a cow cookie jar. Linda ended up with it and was fairly clear she wasn't into this...and then ah, it ended up getting smashed at the end of the night. Jim: "Linda, if you didn't want it, you could have said so!"
Andre Braugher Died And I'm Not Feeling So Good Myself Posted on Dec 12, 2023, 11:12 pm
Hey, remember how yesterday I said I had a boring entry and then I'd probably have drama tomorrow?
Let's Not Discuss My Career Goals Posted on Dec 12, 2023, 12:12 am
I did have to have a one-on-one meeting about my goals (usually something we have to do once a month), to which I was all "um, what's the point of this, then?" in my head, and indeed we did not discuss ANY goals, lololololol.
Focusing on Shoes?! Posted on Dec 11, 2023, 12:12 am
There's nothing quite like my mom asking over text how I am doing, I say I'm scared, etc....and her inexplicable response is to send me photos of her shoes.
Tour de Not That Great Craft Fair Posted on Dec 10, 2023, 2:12 am
Like the only other books I could find I'd read before in the requested genres... were No. 1 Ladies Detective Society... or The Road To Wellville, which features a billion enemas, people having to chew their food WAY too many times, and vibrators.
The Last Drink Posted on Dec 9, 2023, 7:12 am
I have decided to buy nothing but Baby Yoda for gift swaps, because people actually want the baby.
Three Appointments Posted on Dec 7, 2023, 9:12 pm
There's no coming back from that, UNLESS there is a medical issue/excuse.
Patterns and Puzzles Posted on Dec 7, 2023, 12:12 am
She's been trying to come up with something to distract herself from her never-ending medical issues ("they found something wrong again!" like, daily), and the puzzle seems to have done it.
Dirty Karaoke Posted on Dec 6, 2023, 12:12 am
I was all, "LET'S SING DIRTY SONGS!!!" because this place usually has enough kids coming in where that's not doable.
Dickens Fair 2023 Posted on Dec 4, 2023, 1:12 pm
My favorite story was a guy pointing out to a ghost, "Why do you always haunt dark and dank places instead of like, the beach?" The ghost was all, "good point, I shall have to think about that one" and disappeared.
Friends With Vaginas Posted on Dec 3, 2023, 1:12 am
I asked her what it meant and she said, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." Okay, I said
Finally, A Tree Lighting Ceremony Posted on Dec 2, 2023, 9:12 pm
I can say that Now I Have Attended A Tree Lighting Ceremony, which consisted of a band, Santa, free cookies, and a LOT of fake snow.
Georgiana and Kitty Posted on Dec 2, 2023, 9:12 pm
It's all very AWWWWWWW and sweet and funny and endearing, I highly recommend, if you're in this area or any other area where they do this play, GO SEE IT.
Prairie Oysters Posted on Dec 31, 2022, 9:12 pm
Kimmie: "Why does she have that in her pocket?!"
Me, yelling down to the stage: "THAT'S WHAT I KEEP SAYING!!"
Possible Fire, Terrible Icing, False Positives Posted on Dec 30, 2022, 9:12 pm
I am a grown ass woman with crafting abilities AND I took cake decorating in 4-H and I still couldn't even get CLOSE to putting this together. Like I gave up after an hour and just started eating the beach house instead.
So Far, So Good Posted on Dec 29, 2022, 9:12 pm
Me: "She just carries around a raw egg?!"
Omar: "Haven't you ever carried around a raw egg in your pocket?"
Praying to St. Corona Posted on Dec 28, 2022, 9:12 pm
If I don't catch it from this one, it'll be a miracle. I feel fine so far, but who knows. I want to believe I'm immune, but how likely is that?
Boxing Day (yes, everyone just called it Boxing Day today, even though mine isn't even on ACTUAL Boxing Day!) Posted on Dec 27, 2022, 8:12 pm
Jan: "Tomorrow is going to be--" Omar: "Hell." Me: LOL.
Glass Onion Posted on Dec 26, 2022, 8:12 pm
Mom tried to apologize to me for nitpicking my driving...and then immediately went into complaining that I drive too fast ANYWAY. *facepalm*
Do These Flight Times Work? Posted on Dec 25, 2022, 5:12 pm
I ashamedly admit I waited around all afternoon for that and wrote back eagerly. Sheesh, Jennifer.
A Cranky Christmas Eve Posted on Dec 24, 2022, 10:12 pm
I feel shitty about feeling shitty about someone at Christmas.
Lifetime Christmas Movies And Murder Drama Posted on Dec 23, 2022, 4:12 pm
Then she got a phone call, put it on speaker, and I got to hear about colonoscopies, diverticulitis and tooth-losing. *facepalm* It's Festivus, here's my grievance....
A Production Posted on Dec 22, 2022, 10:12 pm
I note that the hotel has no Hallmark Channel and I'd have to pay extra money to stream video in here. SIGH. So much for the "hang out and watch Hallmark" plan.
Who Actually Needs Scrooging? Posted on Dec 21, 2022, 8:12 pm
Afterwards, Brad gives an excellent case of Christmas Grovel and they immediately make out at the party.
Enchant Posted on Dec 21, 2022, 2:12 am
This one was literally, as many people said, magical. You could have just like, buried me under the rainbow tree and I would have been happy.
Imaginarum 360 Posted on Dec 19, 2022, 1:12 pm
then McCallow comes in and gifts him with AN INFLATABLE DOLL to um, "practice for the festival with." This made me think, WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FESTIVAL IS THIS?!?!"
A Phone Call Posted on Dec 18, 2022, 1:12 pm
Seriously, my list of people to buy or make for is.... low this year.
Another Day In Which I Suck Posted on Dec 17, 2022, 10:12 pm
I wish it wasn't such an issue of "I keep working a job I suck at so I have good health insurance in case I get diagnosed with something awful in the future" and "I suck at everything and can't get another job," though.
Competent Meets Dull Posted on Dec 16, 2022, 10:12 am
Um...how dumb is this movie that in Garland, A CHRISTMAS TOWN SO CHRISTMASSY THAT SANTA LIVES THERE, in an inn RUN BY SANTA'S DAMN SON, does Ms. Real Estate have to be the one who tells Andy that he NEEDS TO DECORATE FOR CHRISTMAS?!?!?
Happy Nothing Special Is Going On Day Posted on Dec 15, 2022, 10:12 pm
I wrote a list of all the "parts" I played in musicals, ranging from "fancy dressed lady" or "poor lady" or "misc. wives" to stuff like "girl gang" and "dancing fork" and "Nazi, because at some point everyone in theater plays a Nazi."
More Package Drama Posted on Dec 14, 2022, 11:12 pm
Has the "I don't wanna pay money" approach worked to not have to pay money? NO, IT HAS NOT.
The Wickhams Posted on Dec 13, 2022, 11:12 pm
Darcy punches Wickham when he refers to Georgiana as "the dove who got away." "You just cannot stop getting hit, can you?" says Mrs. R.
Stealing Game and Monologues Posted on Dec 12, 2022, 11:12 pm
and the best one, which I probably would have considered stealing had it come up, was a shirt that said, I shit you not, "Oh shit, I picked the wrong white elephant gift." LOLOLOLOL YOU ARE A GENIUS, MY SILENT COWORKER.
Shopping and A Christmas Story Posted on Dec 11, 2022, 10:12 pm
During the tongue scene, after Ralph rattles off all the offstage drama about how to get Flick separated from the pole, Dannette muttered, "You just get water."
Disney Descendants Posted on Dec 10, 2022, 7:12 pm
Per kids' shows, sometimes the casting is...amusing...when the kid playing the parent is officially shorter and younger than their child. But the funniest version of this I've EVER seen was a very small boy playing the Beast.
The Elf Show Posted on Dec 9, 2022, 9:12 pm
The Harrods guy is politely trying to figure out what to do with a guy who wants to buy a baby cigars, or alcohol, or perhaps a sidebar?
My Work Has To Learn The Hard Way Posted on Dec 8, 2022, 9:12 pm
See, this kind of thing is why I could never be A Leader, because nobody listens to a damn thing I say.
UPS Is The Devil Posted on Dec 7, 2022, 11:12 pm
Bad news, they decided to deliver to our office ON SATURDAY AFTER 5 PM. WHEN THE BUILDING IS DESERTED AND LOCKED. Of COURSE it's gone by Monday. Of COURSE.
An Exhausting Last Show Sunday Posted on Dec 6, 2022, 8:12 pm
I know what my worth is in the eyes of other people, you know?
It Rains In London Every Day Posted on Dec 5, 2022, 8:12 pm
I note that Scrooge Scott asked, “What witch in Descendants cursed us?" and Kimmie said, "No, I know the witches and they're very sweet."
Last Minute Role Substution Posted on Dec 4, 2022, 11:12 pm
Friday night, I showed up at the theater to find Steve the Beadle* rehearsing for Present. He will be playing Present for the weekend.
Hallmark Movie Reviews: Real and Fake Royals Posted on Dec 3, 2022, 12:12 pm
I will just note that it is totally wrong and inappropriate to blackmail one's boss into pretending to be a fictional character to appease your 7-year-old.
A Poppins Party Posted on Jan 1, 2022, 3:01 pm
"This looks great! Actually it looks like crap, which is perfect."
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Posted on Dec 31, 2021, 12:12 pm
I'm never quite sure whether or not to root for Wonka since on the one hand he seems to like Charlie, but on the other hand he is totally fine with all the child murder (oh, Roald Dahl).
Chia Pet Posted on Dec 30, 2021, 1:12 pm
My whole life I think those things look silly AF (also, what is a chia?!), but if it's got Baby Yoda, I wants it, apparently.
My Hair Is Bad And That's Why I Can't Catch A Man Posted on Dec 29, 2021, 1:12 pm
She called me up to tell me the entire reason why I can't catch a man is my frizzy straight hair and no man is going to see through to my better qualities if my hair is bad.
Awkwardness Posted on Dec 28, 2021, 10:12 am
But officially I am no longer deemed present-worthy by him, and that sucks and I feel sad, ashamed, and embarrassed.
Train Drama Posted on Dec 27, 2021, 3:12 pm
All I can say is that everyone in this family gets gifted a toy train, one way or another.
Quiet Christmas Posted on Dec 26, 2021, 1:12 pm
On the one hand, I get having your feelings hurt and feeling like nobody loves you because they didn't gift you (I note that almost none of my friends actually gave me any this year and now I feel weird for gifting them).
Don't Look Up Posted on Dec 25, 2021, 12:12 pm
AND I RAN OUT OF YARN. Literally on the one day all year where I CAN'T RUN OUT AND GET MORE and I took all of the yarn in the house home with me last time. NOW WHAT DO I DO ALL CHRISTMAS DAY WHEN I HAVE THE FIDGETS?!?!?
There Was Sun For A Few Hours Posted on Dec 24, 2021, 11:12 am
Clara is all "after the holidays I'm going to go back to America and audition for new companies even though my aunt literally will give me a free house and dance studio." YEAHRIGHT.
Georgiana and Kitty Posted on Dec 23, 2021, 12:12 pm
Honestly, sometimes I wonder if my being agoraphobic for a year broke me because I canNOT make myself go back to being a shut-in any more to save my own life and health.
A Very Handsome Christmas Posted on Dec 22, 2021, 11:12 am
"Both you and your brother were conceived between Christmas and New Year's!" "Please stop talking."
Christmas Errands Posted on Dec 21, 2021, 12:12 pm
Two hand-made ones: one lady just stuck all kinds of random objects on the front and had a wreath on the back. The other one...not kidding, BARBIE STRIPPER POLE WITH DOLLARS on it.
Mistletoe in Montana Posted on Dec 20, 2021, 1:12 pm
I am completely and utterly baffled as to his life decisions, ESPECIALLY when he says about ranch life, "It's just a bunch of yeehaws and giddyups." This is the the immortally bad line from the trailer and I can't help but think, if you think this about cowboys, why are you paying to hang out with them?
The Secret Ingredient is Marmalade Posted on Dec 19, 2021, 10:12 am
"SO THE MARMALADE WAS A LIE."
The End of Lucifer Posted on Dec 18, 2021, 11:12 am
...well, let's not think about birthing angel wings, shall we.
Springtime for Hitler (Part 2) Posted on Dec 17, 2021, 9:12 am
Steve: "I prefer directing because it's my sick perverted vision. And I've had a lot of sick perverted visions." Isaiah: "I know. I saw Cats."
Prisoners of Love Posted on Dec 15, 2021, 10:12 am
she was straight up dubbed a "princess" for this incident: during the pandemic she didn't want to go into the building because she'd have to get tested and she didn't want to "spit everywhere," so Penguin Girl was forced to haul this woman's chair and computer down three floors and pass them to her outside.
The Weather Outside Is Frightful Posted on Dec 14, 2021, 10:12 am
And finally, there's an answer as to how much rain would end the drought, a question I always wonder about because everyone always acts like even if we had (bleeping) monsoons every day of winter it would never be enough.
Family Lunch Posted on Dec 13, 2021, 1:12 am
"Hey, I got into the show, didn't I?"
Paranormal Holiday Posted on Dec 12, 2021, 12:12 pm
Santa Got Run Over--rednecks! I love rednecks! One of whom thinks he ran over Santa.
In Person Office Party Posted on Dec 11, 2021, 6:12 pm
She immediately sat down, held my hands(!) and apologized for being depressed and disappearing during the pandemic.
Opening Night Dance Number Posted on Dec 10, 2021, 9:12 am
In one of those "the universe is clearly laughing at me again" moments...
Keep Riding This Train Posted on Dec 9, 2021, 1:12 am
He said I've "more than earned my voice to get what you want and deserve in this office."
Dilemma Debate Posted on Dec 8, 2021, 10:12 am
The only real difference is knowing for sure, I guess.
...And Went Straight To The Bar Posted on Dec 7, 2021, 11:12 am
"He just got out of the hospital," Stephanie said, and one of the employees, Jared, said "And came straight to the bar!"
Problem Child Posted on Dec 6, 2021, 12:12 pm
I'm the only one who keeps on struggling and having problems here. Everyone else is fine and at least making progress on what they want, whereas what I wanted this year....didn't happen.
Long Foggy Drve Posted on Dec 5, 2021, 1:12 pm
It's kind of hilarious how often people keep talking about those words when really, it's not like strippers are mobbing the embassy and everyone seems perfectly polite and the most uncouth thing I've seen so far is Dan accidentally stomping on a ball ornament.
Shiggles Posted on Dec 4, 2021, 11:12 am
"The non-existence of Shiggles the Corgi must end."
Trial Scene Posted on Dec 3, 2021, 10:12 am
Yeah, apparently I’m faking normal very well?
Christmas Contest and A Castle For Christmas Posted on Dec 2, 2021, 12:12 pm
Time for gift suggestions for grandma! "Massage gun." "I got her that last year. She used it as a plunger." Me: MASSAGE GUN?!?!?
This Year's Recap Posted on Dec 1, 2021, 10:12 am
I told him I was "dialing back" our relationship after that, which so far isn't going like you'd expect.
A Baby Yoda New Year's Posted on Jan 1, 2021, 8:01 pm
"I can't believe you went out with another woman, just for me. It's so--" "Insane?!" "Romantic!"
The Meme Is Certainly Different This Year Posted on Dec 31, 2020, 8:12 pm
If you're reading this after December 31, 2020, CONGRATUATIONS! YOU SURVIVED 2020! IT DID NOT MURDER YOU!
The End of Postables Posted on Dec 30, 2020, 11:12 pm
“--the Miss Special Delivery pageant--” “Is that a real thing?” I’VE BEEN SAYING THAT ALL ALONG, SIR.
Postables, Part 3 Posted on Dec 29, 2020, 11:12 pm
"She's very....efficient...." Oliver says of Shane. SO ROMANTIC, I SWOONED.
Extra Bonus Postables Posted on Dec 29, 2020, 1:12 pm
I'm still annoyed that I am technically one entry short here, so here's a bonus one. More Postables recapping.
The Postables Posted on Dec 28, 2020, 10:12 pm
YES, POST OFFICE EMPLOYEES JUST THWARTED A DRUG CARTEL. THIS IS WHAT THIS HALLMARK SHOW IS DOING.
Betwixtmas Posted on Dec 27, 2020, 11:12 pm
"Go get him honey!" Befuddled old guy: "Go get who?" Other lady: "Really?!"
The Day After Christmas Is Always Dull Posted on Dec 26, 2020, 10:12 pm
Christine runs into Jason and he calls her Rosemary, which she does NOT call him out on. Yeah, I see how this movie is gonna go for 2 hours.
A Baby Yoda Christmas Day Posted on Dec 25, 2020, 11:12 pm
THIS IS THE CHRISTMAS MOVIE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE, Y'ALL.
A Baby Yoda Christmas Eve Posted on Dec 24, 2020, 11:12 pm
I've had a fair amount of mortifying moments with Scott, mind you, but this one I really brought upon myself there.
Dash and Lily Day Posted on Dec 23, 2020, 9:12 pm
"I don't have a love story. But that's okay. I don't need one."
Christmas Carousels and Princes Posted on Dec 22, 2020, 11:12 pm
“Are you DOUBTING the POWER of the WISHING HORSE?”
“Of course not, it sounds entirely foolproof.”
Another Day of Yarn and Movies Posted on Dec 21, 2020, 10:12 pm
I find it sad that the only character with brains in a show of genius inventors is the obnoxious magic toy.
No Collage In The Collage Meetup? Posted on Dec 20, 2020, 11:12 pm
"Oh, he KNOWS. He just doesn't say anything."
Who Hates Dolly Parton? Posted on Dec 19, 2020, 11:12 pm
"Does he actually love her or does he enjoy making her feel like (beep) all the time?"
Okay, Fine, I'll Turn On The Camera Now Posted on Dec 18, 2020, 11:12 pm
she said she hasn't seen my face in nine months--to be fair, that is a legitimate concern--and maybe I might want to reconsider the camera thing in 2021.
Trash Angel Posted on Dec 17, 2020, 11:12 pm
I’m going to point out that Grandpa is so inconspicuous that he entered the Ugly Sweater Contest. And won.
In Which Mom Is A Brat, Round 2 Posted on Dec 16, 2020, 11:12 pm
She said "I don't have cooties!" I said, "Literally, none of us knows if we have cooties or not. We can't know!"
A Scavenger Hunt Christmas Posted on Dec 15, 2020, 11:12 pm
But also, clearly DUDE NEEDS A HOBBY OR A DISTRACTION OR A SCAVENGER HUNT to get him off of WebMD.
This Movie Is Triggering Me Posted on Dec 14, 2020, 11:12 pm
I AM TRYING TO FORGET ABOUT THAT, HALLMARK, AND YET YOU HAUNT ME.
Nothing To Do But Internet Telly Posted on Dec 13, 2020, 10:12 pm
Another day where I have nothing to do but yarncrafts, pacing around the house, cooking more damn meals, and watching the Internet telly for eternity. (Which is to say, more Hallmark, plus 2 plays.)
The Understudy Takes Over Posted on Dec 12, 2020, 11:12 pm
Watching this movie after watching Ruthless, in which one girl takes out someone else so she can do the part, is pretty amusing. They're dropping like flies in this movie!
Deadline Panic Day Posted on Dec 11, 2020, 10:12 pm
'I am going to leave my desk, and I AM GOING TO BEAT PEOPLE UPSIDE THE HEAD."
Searching for Something in Hallmark Posted on Dec 10, 2020, 11:12 pm
Someone mentioned having a Weeping Angel on their tree, followed by "we can't blink until Christmas."
Then I Watched Some Lifetime Movies Posted on Dec 8, 2020, 10:12 pm
My life is nothing but holiday movies from now on.
Let It Go Posted on Dec 7, 2020, 11:12 pm
How am I supposed to not doubt?
I Dunno About Gifting Posted on Dec 6, 2020, 11:12 pm
So present giving in December is always minefield territory somewhere and this year's even weirder.
Charge the Bear Posted on Dec 5, 2020, 11:12 pm
"KERMIT! I DON'T THINK YOUR MOTHER WANTS THAT PONY IN THE WHITE HOUSE!" ... "oh well."
The Office Not A Party Posted on Dec 4, 2020, 9:12 pm
"I apologize that most of these games would be more fun if we were in the office, but you'll just have to make do with your roommates or your pets or something."
Pick A Card Future Posted on Dec 3, 2020, 10:12 pm
I gotta say it's the nicest future reading I ever got, for what that's worth, if it's worth anything.
Plague Times Meme List Posted on Dec 2, 2020, 11:12 pm
"Thanks to 2020 for being resilient again and rising to the occasion."
No More Smiling Beautiful Face Posted on Dec 1, 2020, 11:12 pm
I'm so sick of being asked to show my smiling beautiful face.
The Knight Before Christmas and Santa Girl Posted on Jan 1, 2020, 1:01 pm
No, you cant eat skunks or start fires in peoples lawns!
This old thing? This is my alone on Christmas Eve outfit.
I Have Some Different Answers This Year Posted on Dec 31, 2019, 1:12 pm
Here is the same old meme I do every year. Except this year, by god, some of the same answers are actually going to be different.
Blahs, Dancing, Angsting, Hallmark Posted on Dec 30, 2019, 2:12 pm
If a small child ever asks me why Im single, which so far has never ever happened because even tiny children can figure out why, I will tell them the truth:
Relatives and Hallmark Posted on Dec 29, 2019, 3:12 pm
Why hasnt anyone MST3Kd Hallmark?
Hot Pink Hair and Knives Out Posted on Dec 28, 2019, 10:12 am
Well, I cant do that, I wear a thong. The lady is 69 years old.
The Mystery of the Finial and The Rise of Skywalker Posted on Dec 27, 2019, 1:12 pm
In other Hallmark news, does anyone remember the finial dobler (or whatever it was) from Christmas At The Plaza? Well, THE MYSTERY HAS BEEN SOLVED!
Another Hallmark Movie Christma Posted on Dec 26, 2019, 1:12 pm
Im pretty sure if I texted all my Jewish friends theyd be all Duhhhhhhh, theyre on the radio in stores constantly.
Same Time Next Christmas Posted on Dec 25, 2019, 4:12 pm
It continues to crack me up that Melinda and I, of all people in the world, are now having conversations about guys.
Surprise Gifting Posted on Dec 24, 2019, 2:12 pm
I asked Sarah if anyone did presents here and she said no!
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby Posted on Dec 23, 2019, 6:12 pm
If the treaty isnt signed on the 24th, we technically go back to war. Which should be interesting since neither country has a standing army, points out Emily. I love her.
Significant License Plates and Synchronicity Posted on Dec 22, 2019, 4:12 pm
There are just so many synchronicity moments like this that go on for me.
Last Day Of Work Posted on Dec 21, 2019, 11:12 am
"I will also be bringing an actual white elephant for the gift exchange, so I will need a large pen in which to store it.
10 Minute Play Festival Auditions Posted on Dec 20, 2019, 9:12 am
I have low to no expectations, but that was nice to get a thank you for auditioning.
A Theory of Gift Swap Buying Posted on Dec 19, 2019, 10:12 pm
But it seems to me that I am in an extreme minority on wanting fun gifts, because it looks like most adults do not. Most want mugs, socks, and lotto tickets.
When You Say Nothing At All Posted on Dec 18, 2019, 9:12 pm
Did I want him to realize what I was doing? I don't know. Did it anyway though, obviously.
I Don't Want To Be Here Any More Posted on Dec 17, 2019, 8:12 pm
Someone was screaming at one of our employees so badly that she had to leave, someone else took over, and then the harassing person had a seizure on our floor, and then refused medical attention because they had no health insurance.
Return to Victorian Christmas Posted on Dec 16, 2019, 11:12 pm
I wore my "Bah Humbug" sweater, and hat, and new pin I got yesterday at Dickens Fair that has a spinner and has the options of "Happy Christmas," "Cheers," "Bah Humbug" and "Bugger Off."
Dickens Faire 2019 Posted on Dec 15, 2019, 11:12 am
At one point the bad guy muses, Who was the victim, she or I? and I muttered, Her, definitely her, since shes dead.
Christmas At Graceland: Home For The Holidays. Posted on Dec 14, 2019, 10:12 am
Youre one of our more interesting candidates, the lady says, completely straightfaced and with no snark whatsoever. That is some amazing deadpan delivery you have there, maam.
Distraction, Angst, Boredom, Hallmark Posted on Dec 13, 2019, 10:12 pm
WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CALL A NON-MEDICAL OFFICE IF YOU THINK YOUR APPENDIX BURST?!
Whamageddon Posted on Dec 12, 2019, 9:12 pm
This was, most likely, someones least favorite night of karaoke ever.
Oh, Spare Me Posted on Dec 11, 2019, 2:12 pm
"its so cute that you think you have a timeline
Coney Island Christmas Day 9: Upstaged By A Baby Posted on Dec 10, 2019, 9:12 pm
Loretta said that she loves two things most people dont like: Little Drummer Boy and fruitcake. To which I said wait until you hear the Justin Bieber version we have to use in the play.
Coney Island Christmas Night 8: A Little Less Joy There Posted on Dec 9, 2019, 4:12 pm
Asked if either of us was married. Said no. Asked if we could not find a man. Did not answer.
Picture A Perfect Christmas Posted on Dec 9, 2019, 1:12 am
These days I am somewhat thinking, Hey, remember what it was like when a guy liked you and you liked him and you just started dating right away and after the weekend or a few dates, you officially had a boyfriend?"
Which Craft Posted on Dec 7, 2019, 10:12 am
I dont want to quit the place, but timewise I dont feel like I can commit any more on their schedule either.
Coney Island Christmas Night 7: The Substitute Posted on Dec 6, 2019, 11:12 pm
Dont you have GPS? How many times does Santa get lost? This is like the seventh time!
Christmas at the Plaza Posted on Dec 5, 2019, 10:12 am
Here I am cataloging Christmas ornaments. I always thought Id be doing something more important with my life.
This Is What A Karaoke Night Is Like Posted on Dec 4, 2019, 11:12 pm
See, this is what happens when I have no rehearsal and nothing to do tonight. I get maudlin.
I Don't Want To Help Posted on Dec 3, 2019, 9:12 pm
"I'm burned out on helping people, and I'd rather act."
Spilling The Tea About 2019 Posted on Dec 2, 2019, 11:12 pm
Things have changed since yall last saw me.
Coney Island Christmas Day 6: It Gets Very Weird Around Here Posted on Dec 1, 2019, 10:12 pm
For entry/future storytelling purposes, I write down all the snarky lines and happenings while hanging in the green room/during rehearsal.
Four Entries In One Posted on Jan 1, 2019, 3:01 pm
Two reviews of random holiday movies I saw on Netflix that I had saved for dull days, followed by an analysis of Hallmark and jobs, followed by this year's Rose Bowl parade and Holidailies farewell.
Things Never Change (The Bad Ones Don't, Anyway) Posted on Dec 31, 2018, 12:12 pm
You really need to learn how to flush a toilet.
A House Full Of Crickets (And No Toilet) Posted on Dec 30, 2018, 12:12 pm
Colonel Brandon is contentedly resigned to a house full of crickets. That is all of this in a nutshell, right here. Stuff in houses nobody who could fix, will fix, and everyone else just gotta put up with it.
Even More Hallmark Reviews Posted on Dec 29, 2018, 3:12 pm
You havent heard of baloney omelet before?
You havent heard of ANYTHING before!
Mary Poppins Returns Posted on Dec 28, 2018, 12:12 pm
Hey, shouldnt we send the magical flying nanny up there to take care of this?
A Very Hallmark After Christmas Posted on Dec 27, 2018, 12:12 pm
At one point Katie compares drinking cocoa to having a salad because the cacao beans come from plants. I like your logic, says the king.
A Very Hallmark Christmas Posted on Dec 26, 2018, 12:12 pm
Heres an interesting Christmas dilemma for you: which is worse: have the cute small town-ness of the town killed with having a ski resort and other businesses move in, or have the town die altogether due to lack of jobs? Ive seen my dads hometown do the latter, so I still vote ski resort.
Christmas Is Canceled Posted on Dec 25, 2018, 1:12 pm
I had to cancel our flights and presumably I will be getting horribly sick as well because there is literally no way for me to avoid her germs.
Great America Winterfest Posted on Dec 24, 2018, 5:12 pm
You probably shouldnt knit in a gay club while watching a drag show.
Gaslighting Posted on Dec 23, 2018, 1:12 pm
I am not going to get a new toilet and I am never going to get anywhere with this and I am now turning into the crazy complaining bitch who just irritates everyone and is never happy.
Don't Yawn Posted on Dec 22, 2018, 9:12 am
While BigBoss is figuring out how to make her pig poop....
Spider-Man and Aggretsuko For The Holidays Posted on Dec 21, 2018, 9:12 am
Why is there a plotline thats all about getting Retsuko romantically together with a guy shes just not feeling it for (especially since she is single and desperate at Christmas), and then they dont even quite do that?
Cycling and Graphic Recording Posted on Dec 20, 2018, 9:12 am
I just dont know if I can make myself known online without ruining my life.
Tattler Bitch Posted on Dec 19, 2018, 9:12 am
As a person who is forced to serve and help for a living and thus be abused and yelled at, I dont want to have to yell at someone in order to get them to do anything.
Christmas at Pemberley Manor Posted on Dec 18, 2018, 9:12 am
We could string Christmas lights over the big wrecking ball,
Harry and Meghan: A Royal Romance Posted on Dec 17, 2018, 9:12 am
This is what Queen Amber of Aldovia should have been going through in reality!
Meeting Ada Lovelace Posted on Dec 16, 2018, 11:12 am
So it was kind of almost like meeting a celebrity in the past.
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding Posted on Dec 15, 2018, 10:12 am
Richard is repeatedly told to give us some boom! Uh, what? Amber then makes the crack about I would be exuding something else if this dress were any tighter. Damn, is that a royal poop joke?
This Is Just A Bunch Of Misc. Crap Here. Posted on Dec 14, 2018, 9:12 am
Having to explain to the BigBoss what I was wearing and what the Gavle Goat is (oh, thats sad!).
The Christmas Chronicles Posted on Dec 13, 2018, 9:12 am
Dont you break into like, a billion homes every year? Technically thats illegal too. Good point.
On The Nature of Ugly Holiday Sweaters Posted on Dec 12, 2018, 9:12 am
People freaking love it when I show up in tacky Christmas bling that lights up, unless they are the sorts to be horrified by tacky Christmas bling that lights up.
"Helpful" Reindeer Posted on Dec 11, 2018, 9:12 am
In other news, we discussed tortoise porn, watched the Baby, Just Go Outside corrective video to all the problems of Baby, Its Cold Outside, and we all admired someones helpful reindeer hat.
Snores, Guns, and Shawls Posted on Dec 10, 2018, 10:12 am
Lisa put the gun back together in 30 seconds, then pointed it at the camera and said Bang! I think I like this Lisa even though I havent met her.
Stealing is the Holiday Spirit Posted on Dec 9, 2018, 12:12 pm
It was an ugly sweater party and once I heard that, I admit I was all IM GONNA WIN, IM GONNA WIN about it because I handmake my own ugly holiday sweaters, yall.
The Princess Switch Posted on Dec 8, 2018, 10:12 am
Stacy is demanding that the prince play Twister Right Now. Stacy is wearing a short, tight skirt. No woman would play Twister in that. She nearly flashes cooter in this movie.
Advent and the Bee Posted on Dec 7, 2018, 9:12 am
Also, ladies: note that the dating situation for a hot young lady is so bad that her choices are a jerky human or a TINY INSECT. Those are your prospects, girls!
Improv Dilemmas Posted on Dec 6, 2018, 9:12 am
its like a celebrity sighting around here when you see these folks in plays a few times a year.
Revenge Stories and Dreamcatchers Posted on Dec 5, 2018, 9:12 am
I insisted that we go to the one about fashionable cosplay, moderated by Major Sexypants and with a panel of three pirates and a wench.
Mandala Vest and Storytelling Posted on Dec 4, 2018, 9:12 am
I do have some really cool experiences with people I meet once from time to time, but sadly they never carry over, you know?
Attraction Potato Soup and the Annoying Doormat Posted on Dec 3, 2018, 9:12 am
Oh, I bought you a doormat, she said. It plays music and it was on sale for $3. Ill bet it was on sale for $3.
2018 Recap Posted on Dec 2, 2018, 8:12 pm
Dudes gonna dude and whatever and I am out of care.
The Holiday Calendar Posted on Dec 1, 2018, 10:12 am
On day four, she gets a candy cane and is literally knocked over by a bunch of domino-ing giant candy canes.
Skunked Posted on Jan 1, 2018, 9:01 pm
So 2018s been a great year so far for the dog...lets hope it is not an omen.
I'll Always Be Writing This Meme Posted on Dec 31, 2017, 12:12 pm
Im ready to grow and I havent found a way to do it. Im tired of playing small and being small and eating #$%@ all the time to make a living. I feel like I need to be doing something bigger in life than this.
Short Week Update Posted on Dec 30, 2017, 12:12 pm
"Does he know we're dating? I mean, we've met at that dinner...."
More Interesting Hallmark Movies I Saw This Year Posted on Dec 29, 2017, 11:12 am
We find out that Kims novel plot involves fake dating during the holidays. WHY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HALLMARK PLOT TO ME.
Less Interesting Hallmark Movies I Saw This Year Posted on Dec 28, 2017, 12:12 pm
Melanie is completely stumped as to what you give the man who wants nothing and has no personality.
Recap Day: November 2017, Section I Posted on Dec 27, 2017, 11:12 am
And now recapping the rest of this year is DONE. Whew. Finally.
A Christmas Prince Posted on Dec 26, 2017, 11:12 am
"Where there is a tiara, there is dirt. Trust me."
Tour de Christmas Lights Posted on Dec 25, 2017, 2:12 pm
One of the best Christmas Eves I've had in a while!
Recap Day: October 2017 Posted on Dec 24, 2017, 2:12 pm
This is five days of entries in one because I gotta get this done and October was very busy!
My Festivus Grievance Posted on Dec 23, 2017, 1:12 pm
I don't think I can declare this a "Won't Get Fooled Again" situation until then, unfortunately.
Recap Day: August and September 2017 Posted on Dec 23, 2017, 1:12 am
For those of you wondering why....hes the playwrights husband. Coincidence? Probably not.
Recap Day: July 2017 Posted on Dec 21, 2017, 9:12 am
She was never so excited to see an infected pierced lip in her life!
Recap Day: June 2017 Posted on Dec 20, 2017, 10:12 am
Meanwhile, my aunt and I were all, wheeee, we get to ride in a police car without being arrested! (Also, I get to tell this to my grandchildren.)
Recap Day: May 2017 Posted on Dec 19, 2017, 9:12 am
Warning: there's a dead bird in this story.
The Polar Express Posted on Dec 18, 2017, 8:12 am
here was a, no joke, "train sword" on sale that looks like a light saber. Because I don't know about you, but I have always needed a sword every time I get on Amtrak to fight with the other passengers in the aisles.
I Am In A Show! Posted on Dec 17, 2017, 12:12 pm
"Nerd love, between two nerds."
Full Bonnet Posted on Dec 16, 2017, 1:12 pm
"This is one show you don't have to worry about auditions"
Return Of The Mack Posted on Dec 15, 2017, 8:12 am
I kind of wonder: is this why the universe was all "go for it" on this topic?
Pandora's Box Posted on Dec 14, 2017, 9:12 am
it's been 18 years and he's had ten billion ladies between now and then and he's remembering this?!?!?!
Recap Day: April 2017 Posted on Dec 13, 2017, 9:12 am
I have decided that swords should be at all weddings.
Candidate Number Two Posted on Dec 12, 2017, 9:12 am
The previous BigBoss wanted everything to be nice and just kind of swept everything under the rug and ignored it, like bullying. How do you deal with that?"
Everything You Do Is Music Posted on Dec 11, 2017, 9:12 am
There was a quote on the wall from Cage, "Everything you do is music, and everywhere is the best seat."
YA Night Posted on Dec 10, 2017, 11:12 am
I do not want to be a nag and I'm not gonna do it unless I absolutely have to and this isn't a have to.
Silent Sky Posted on Dec 9, 2017, 1:12 pm
"Hidden Figures for astronomy" is uh...a pretty good analogy for the play, really.
Candidate Number One Posted on Dec 8, 2017, 9:12 am
Hopefully both candidates are good and either way we end up with someone who is good and who can do something to fix all this crazy.
Beebee and Nettie Jo Posted on Dec 7, 2017, 10:12 am
....have been doing a scene from "The Days and Nights of Beebee Fenstermaker," which is a play about a girl who wants to be a somebody and presumably never makes it (I have been unable to get a hold of the whole play, but it sounds like that's how it ends). I related all too well.
Recap Day: March 2017 Posted on Dec 6, 2017, 9:12 am
I feel fairly certain at this point that uh... the mystery of the likely anonymous letter writer might have gotten some light shed on it there even if it will never be proven.
Recap Day: Last Half of February 2017 Posted on Dec 5, 2017, 9:12 am
Also: if you ever go to something like this, dont wear a minidress.
Tour de Craft Fair Posted on Dec 4, 2017, 9:12 am
It is really weird how so far this year I've bought hardly anything at faires. I'm not sure if it's me or them or I've just been going too long and everything I ever wanted has been bought.
Recap Day: Late January Through Mid February 2017 Posted on Dec 3, 2017, 10:12 am
If you make jokes like what would improve this place? Matches and welcome to hell and literally count down that you have 12,000+ days to go until retirement every day (seriously, thats happening and that person is in their twenties), you are not exactly being Mr. or Ms. Mary Sunshine either.
The Suggestive Tree Posted on Dec 2, 2017, 10:12 am
BUT THE BEST PART OF THE NIGHT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD YET.
Trying to Write Again Posted on Dec 1, 2017, 9:12 am
"But a person can be momentarily seduced by the idea of something they think is wrong." Ain't that the truth.
Last One For Holidailies Posted on Dec 31, 2016, 2:12 am
I am so ready for this year to be over except Im afraid well be looking back on this within oh, the end of January thinking that 2016 was the last good year and the word dumpster fire will look quaint next to something like nukes.
The Last Same New Year's Meme? Posted on Dec 31, 2016, 2:12 am
Evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
More Hallmark Movie Reviews: Parents, Cookies, Dead People Posted on Dec 30, 2016, 10:12 am
YOU FLOCKED MY NOBLE?!
Bleah, Money Posted on Dec 29, 2016, 12:12 pm
I am kind of sick of shopping at this point, especially giving the impending bill thing.
RIP Carrie Fisher Posted on Dec 28, 2016, 1:12 am
Thats it. Next years ugly Christmas sweater is gonna be a Princess Leia one.
The Price Of 12 Gifts Posted on Dec 27, 2016, 12:12 pm
Moral of the story: KIDS, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ENTIRE INHERITANCE.
Christmas Day White Elephant Posted on Dec 26, 2016, 3:12 pm
then had it stolen from me by a 4-year-old girl and that was adorable), I did feel sorry for who ended up with my pig shooter, and the people who were grumbly about the movies they ended up with, because it was pretty obvious they were all DO NOT LIKEY SOMEONE STEAL IT FROM ME PLEEEEEASE in their souls
Christmas Eve Hallmark Posted on Dec 25, 2016, 10:12 am
I managed to talk her into buying like $99 worth of mostly booze at BevMo, I still dont know how I did that.
Festivus Eve Posted on Dec 25, 2016, 1:12 am
This years theme was a gingerbread factory, done very well. I showed Deacon Dave a picture of my light up Christmas apron (had I but known we were going there, I would have worn it over) and he said that would have added to the light count this year.
Some Slight Job Movement Posted on Dec 23, 2016, 12:12 pm
I also got called for a job interview in January (time TBD), which I was certainly not expecting at this point!
Yule Bonfire Posted on Dec 22, 2016, 5:12 pm
We had some interesting discussions on power and leadership (words that make me shudder, basically), taking risks, fear, etc.
Bridget Walk Posted on Dec 22, 2016, 5:12 pm
She has a pathway in her backyard with an arch in it and had us walk around this path seven times while contemplating. In my case, contemplating life purpose and job angst, etc.
First Day in Santa Cruz Posted on Dec 21, 2016, 2:12 am
We went to the beach in Davenport with her dog and let the dog run around and have some fun, picked up some seashells, sea glass, and rocks with natural holes in them.
Dickens Fair, Year Three Posted on Dec 19, 2016, 3:12 pm
after arriving at the fair, I went into a bonnet store, and of all things, fell in love with a bonnet. Yeah, I know. Seriously, a bonnet?
Musical Improv Performance: I Have To Have Some Kind Of Oral Fixation. Posted on Dec 19, 2016, 3:12 pm
The dude was all, let me finish, she lost all her clothes WORTH LOOKING AT.
Placeholder Packing Entry Posted on Dec 17, 2016, 12:12 pm
Packing for 2+ weeks of being gone, and I have to pack bulky warm sweaters that fill up the suitcase instantly and all my bags are beyond FULL, and that's going to be an issue if I try to take public transport.
Musical Improv Week 5: She Said Sausage, Let's Do It! Posted on Dec 17, 2016, 12:12 am
It ended with Lincoln saying, I dont know how to heighten after eating placenta. You dont want to know.
The Verdict Posted on Dec 15, 2016, 11:12 pm
I am seriously considering putting up an ad on Craigslist along the lines of "Eliza Doolittle seeks Henry Higgins to rehab voice,"
Verdict Tomorrow Posted on Dec 14, 2016, 10:12 pm
Would that it was always like this, because days like this make me reconsider a lot of things. Until the next snake bite, that is.
Those Gift Swapping Games Posted on Dec 13, 2016, 8:12 pm
However, when the last guy to go opened the last gift and it was THE HAMILTON MIXTAPE...STEAL!
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer: The TV Review Posted on Dec 13, 2016, 10:12 am
Do we have to, Your Honor? Good question, do we have to? In the name of justice, we eat fruitcake.
December Thanksgiving Posted on Dec 13, 2016, 12:12 am
I just wanted to put it out there that sometimes people can really, really come through for you in the event of disaster.
Watching Hamilton Posted on Dec 12, 2016, 8:12 am
Im not used to hearing laughing during certain lines, such as You punched the bursar?
Musical Improv Week 4: Traffic and Glitter Posted on Dec 11, 2016, 11:12 pm
thats why Saving Private Ryan was all about Doritos.
Opera and Hooters Posted on Dec 11, 2016, 5:12 pm
if you were really mad, I wouldn't tell you, we'd just all be complaining behind your back. That was my favorite part of the show right there.
Reunited With Meg Posted on Dec 10, 2016, 2:12 am
If this is going to be my last Christmas in this office (probably), might as well go out in a bling, eh?
So, That Happened.... Posted on Dec 9, 2016, 9:12 am
Anyway, I finally found out what I did on Thursday and heres the kicker, folks: for once I didnt do it.
Tour de Craft Posted on Dec 5, 2016, 12:12 am
I hit the library for (a) the $5/bag booksale, and (b) actually getting 14 library books, followed by (c) hitting the town bookstore BECAUSE CLEARLY I JUST DONT HAVE ENOUGH BOOKS OR ANYTHING.
Strange Magic Posted on Dec 4, 2016, 12:12 am
Dear cloak: I love you, please be my friend forever.
Craft Exchange Party Posted on Dec 3, 2016, 1:12 am
Because no sooner do I clear my schedule then I start cramming it up again, yall.
Musical Improv Week 3: We Had A Really Good Moment When I Poked You! Posted on Dec 2, 2016, 10:12 am
Ohhhhh crap, this means Im gonna have to play Bruce Willis.
The Good, The Bad, and Mixed of 2016 So Far Posted on Dec 1, 2016, 10:12 am
I AM FINALLY OUT OF PUBLIC SERVICE AND ANSWERING PHONES FOREVER AND EVER as of October THANK GAWD ALMIGHTY AMEN HUZZAH.
Two Extra Days Of Vacation Posted on Jan 3, 2016, 11:01 pm
I just love that New Year's was on a Thursday/Friday so that I had the weekend. It was glorious to have a whopping eleven days.
Joy Posted on Jan 1, 2016, 10:01 pm
"If you had to shoot a business rival, would you?" (Whaaaat?)
Half These Answers Are All The Same Posted on Dec 31, 2015, 8:12 pm
Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Geniuses, lower your voices. You keep out of trouble and you double your choices.”
Three Light Shows Posted on Dec 31, 2015, 2:12 am
A snowman that periodically goes off making noise about keeping you company...in the bathroom. I asked him about this later and he said, “BLASPHEMY!” One of the volunteers brought it in and kept moving it around... like in the fridge....
Hallmark Movie Reviews: 12 Days Of Crafts Edition Posted on Dec 29, 2015, 11:12 pm
Maggie’s article, “Confessions of a Secret Admirer” in which she explains the whole story, breaks every journalistic rule in the book. But hey, subscriptions are up and so is Twitter!
Hallmark Movie Reviews: Royalty Edition Posted on Dec 29, 2015, 1:12 am
“I’m more likely to marry Santa Claus than your father.”
Hallmark Movie Reviews: Merry Pre-Matrimony Movies Posted on Dec 27, 2015, 11:12 pm
Dylan drinks Bloody Mary’s behind them and cheerfully watches storm coverage. “How come you’re the only guy in here watching the weather report with a big smile on your face?” Dylan considers this weather a “get out of Christmas free card,” that’s why.
Winchester Mystery House Christmas Tour Posted on Dec 27, 2015, 2:12 am
They had lights and drinks, an amazing balloon artist, and on the hour they have actual snow machines going for a few minutes. Fun stuff for Californians--also the tour guide got to be all, "I can bet it's going to snow right...about... now..." come 8 p.m.
Housesitting Christmas Posted on Dec 25, 2015, 8:12 pm
As for Christmas Day, we stayed up till 1 a.m. watching the Hallmark Channel, and then when we woke up, we continued to watch the Hallmark Channel.
The Lion In Winter Posted on Dec 24, 2015, 4:12 pm
On the other hand, there’s a lot of eavesdropping behind curtains, scheming with the king of France, declarations of treason, attempted murders, people getting thrown into the basement jail and romantic betrayal. Happy holidays, y’all!
A Star Wars For The Rest Of Us Posted on Dec 24, 2015, 1:12 am
I wore my Festivus shirt today, but wore it over my humping reindeer sweater...and then went around pulling up the shirt and flashing humping reindeer at my coworkers.
Humping Reindeer Sweater Posted on Dec 23, 2015, 12:12 am
And yet wearing a sweater with a dead woman on it is acceptable at work, Jennifer? Well, odds are people can’t figure out she’s dead, but everyone can figure out humping reindeer…
Dreich Day Posted on Dec 21, 2015, 10:12 pm
Anyway, it’s the darkest day of the year and soaking wet to boot and I am cranky pants and I was all excited that my Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer sweater got here in time...and they sent me the wrong one. WHINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
The Nutcracker Posted on Dec 20, 2015, 11:12 pm
“Huh, I didn’t remember that that Tammy’s kids have the same name as my cousin Tammy’s kids....that’s a weird coincidence...” You get where this was going, right?
Dickens Fair 2 Posted on Dec 20, 2015, 11:12 pm
Have you heard of a jackalope circus? No. Why not? Turned out to be a terrible idea--the jackalopes ran each other through with their horns on the trapeze and in the clown car, and during the lion taming act, caused the lion to vomit.
Hallmark Movie Review: Ice Sculpture Christmas Posted on Dec 18, 2015, 6:12 pm
AND THEN THEY BREAK THE SCULPTURE BY DOING A HIGH FIVE OVER IT. Participant trophies for all! “If it had been a Venus de Milo contest, we would have had a shot.”
Oops! I Made A Mistake! Posted on Dec 17, 2015, 11:12 pm
Let's say that oh, 12 to 50 to 100 times in a day, someone comes over, throws up in my bed, goes, "Oops! I made a mistake! Can you fix it?" and skips away.
Hallmark Movie Review: Let It Snow Posted on Dec 16, 2015, 11:12 pm
FIRED AT CHRISTMAS AGAIN. BY YOUR OWN FATHER. THAT IS OFFICIALLY THE COLDEST FIRING IN HALLMARK.
Angry Bird Posted on Dec 15, 2015, 11:12 pm
Really, the best moves in this game are stealing something you want from someone who doesn’t want it, and hopefully nobody else wants it either! Plus you don't feel like an asshole!
Holiday Bling Season Posted on Dec 15, 2015, 1:12 am
And finally, I have been eyeing this Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer sweater (THIS EXISTS!!!!!!!)...
Reduced Shakespeare Company Christmas Show Posted on Dec 13, 2015, 5:12 pm
They are not kidding when they say “commercialization saved Christmas.”
Last Minute Gift Making Posted on Dec 13, 2015, 1:12 am
While looking through my jewelry stash, I found the supplies I’d bought for this cross stitch and then was all LAST MINUTE PRESENT MAKING TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME.
Daddy Long Legs Posted on Dec 11, 2015, 11:12 pm
Anyway, I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell this was going to work as a musical. It’s a one-sided epistolary novel, so how would you do it?
Get Aboard The Hamiltrain Posted on Dec 10, 2015, 7:12 pm
Seriously, I kinda can't think about anything else other than Hamilton, and a lot of other people are having the same problem. (P.S. http://www.daddylonglegsmusical.com streams live tonight!)
Making The Wrong Choices Posted on Dec 10, 2015, 12:12 am
I made my decisions in the best way I could at the time with VERY partial information, and yet they all turned out to be wrong.
The Idiot Tax Posted on Dec 8, 2015, 9:12 pm
I told my apartment manager that given how the day’s going, I am just going to stay in my apartment, not do anything, and DRINK.
Mouse-Con and Sarah Vowell Posted on Dec 8, 2015, 12:12 am
“If you’re ever gonna write a Garfield chapter, you’re gonna have to pump up some flava.”
The Chasm of Doubt Posted on Dec 6, 2015, 10:12 pm
This is probably all because plots boil down to “problem, solve it! or fail at it and problem gets worse! repeat until finally solved!” and I suck at problem solving in real life.
Craft Fair Report Roundup Posted on Dec 5, 2015, 11:12 pm
But seriously, Goodwill. OMG. Literally, these are THE ugliest, genuinely ugliest, sweaters I’ve ever seen. As in, “I just sewed a random bow and some holly twig onto a sweater” level of amazing crap.
To Apply Or Not To Apply Posted on Dec 4, 2015, 11:12 pm
I'm going to regret not applying for it, but I think I'll end up regretting applying for it when I don't get it even more.
December 2015 FAQ Posted on Dec 4, 2015, 1:12 am
My life is as it is and probably isn't going to drastically change.
Newfangled Teapot Making Posted on Dec 2, 2015, 10:12 pm
A Daveed Diggs-style "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat" just went through my head at that.
Memorial Service Posted on Dec 1, 2015, 12:12 am
I don't even know what to make of cheerful people dying right now.