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March 15, 2003: U is for Useful (or not)

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In an effort to get a little more exercise, Richard and I decided to invest in a new game for our Playstation 2 - Dance, Dance Revolution. Naturally, to fulfill the 'more exercise' portion of the deal, we also got the accompanying dance mat.

I will spare you an entry all about two extremely uncoordinated, slightly pudgy middle-aged people flailing and stomping around their living room on a little vinyl mat (because that sentence should just about cover everything I could have said about it anyway). Instead I want to share with you the information that came with the dance mat, on a tiny little scrap of paper tucked all the way in the bottom of the box. After reading it I was giggling insanely. I've typed this exactly as it's written.

Dance Performance Instruction

Thanks for purchasing our product. This product is made for dancing and health-care. Please read this instruction carefully before using and please follow the steps properly and remember to take good care of this instruction.


  • Forbidden to use this product if your feet are seriously injured. Stop immediately if there is abnormal phenomenon (abnormal phenomenon?) in your foot, waist and back when using it.
  • Please take off your shoes when using this product, don't wear a smooth sock, do not stack up other things around you, keep far away from walls and windows, find somewhere roomy to play.
  • There is maybe have some white powder on the surface of the product, please wipe off by a piece of soft, clean cloth.
  • Make sure to pave the cushion (I have no idea either).
  • Don not put it near the furniture and other odds and ends. (like, say, paved cushions?)
  • Young children must be guided to use it or need parents and teaches to accompany, in case to be tumbled by it. (Uh. Speaking as an adult here, I'd say it's more likely the adult is going to be 'tumbled by it' than the child)
  • High technology product, do not separate or fix it anyway. Or the damage can not be guaranteed.
  • Do not keep it in the quite high or low temperature environment, especially far away from the fireplace.
  • Please put it on a flat floor, but not too smooth.
  • When using this product, pay attention to keep your feet safety.
  • Please do not jump strongly, that may bring troubles to the other person.

This has been an AlphaBytes entry.

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