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May 15, 2003: Perspective

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It's been a crazy kind of week, all building up to this weekend. My little sister flew down today with her daughter (her husband is off at a wedding), and so I�ve been trying to figure out how to fit in time to see them in between work and everything else.

The 'everything else', for the most part, is the choral concert this weekend, and tonight we had our final practice. Two hours, to go over far too many songs that we have not had nearly enough time to practice. And to say that it went badly is putting it mildly.

It doesn't help that the little fledgling recorder group is playing for the concert as well - playing music that has overwhelmed a good portion of the group and is still a struggle for the rest of us who - while we may at least get the rhythms, are still trying desperately to get the fingerings correct. Last night I went to a friend's house and three of us gathered with stands and music and did our best to muddle through the most difficult parts. I think I have an advantage, having such a long background in music, but my tired brain wants to use oboe fingerings for recorder notes and it throws me off time and time again.

Tonight we were all tired and frustrated. People made mistakes over things we've long since passed by. People showed up late and wore their exhaustion and frustration like armor. The choir director snapped at us. We snapped at him and each other. We are not ready. No matter what happens; no matter that there is no more time left to rehearse, we are not ready.

We walked out of the church and looked up into the sky. The night was beautiful - breezy and cool and lit by stars. The total eclipse of the moon was tonight, and while we didn�t rush outside to see it at its zenith, an hour later, earth's shadow still fell across most of the moon�s surface.

And somehow it all doesn't matter so much anymore.

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