It's over. The month of November is finally over and with it, Nanowrimo. And I cannot help but feel an incredible amount of relief that I'm finally free of it.
A coworker asked me today, when I grumbled about my rather pointed lack of desire to spend any more time on this story, why I still persisted.
"Because I'm this close, and besides, I want to be able to say that I did it," I replied, knowing even as the words came out of my mouth how lame they sounded. But at least it was the truth. I stuck it out, because I couldn't just let it die when I should have - halfway through the 50,000 word goal when I ran out of plot and realized that I was also rapidly running out of any interest in the story itself. I told too many people I was doing it. I didn't want to deal with trying to explain why I dropped out. And that's probably the lamest reason of all. It's not like I get anything out of it, and my intention now is to pull the few salvageable bits from this pile of garbage and toss the rest. I kept on only because I didn't want to try to explain why I'd stopped. It was hard enough explaining why I'd started in the first place, after all.
There's a whole lot of other people who finished too - most of us waiting til the last day, even the last hour, to turn it in for the final count. It's nice to know that I wasn't the only one who knew without a doubt that those 50,000 words I'd churned out compiled perhaps the worst piece of fiction I have ever been embarrassed to admit to creating in my life. And even though the Nanowrimo crew decided to forgo the official word count because there were just too darn many of us, Ryan not only volunteered to do the counting for the little subset of journalers who've all been emailing each other frantic questions and enthusiastic support all month, but he also made up some spiffy graphics for each of the ones who hit the 50,000 word mark (see below).
Don't ask if you can read it, because the answer is no. Heh. I'll strip out the pieces I want to keep, and use it for what it was intended all along - the basic background for a character in a role-playing game. And maybe one of these days I'll get inspired and decide to write a 'real' novel - one that I'd actually be proud of.
There's always next November. They say Nanowrimo is easier the second time around. Hmm. We'll see.